Joseph Addison once said, "Those marriages generally abound most with love and constancy that are preceded by a long courtship."
A marriage is a union of two souls for a lifetime and beyond. Choosing the right partner takes a lot of consideration, after all it's a matter of 'till death do us part'. In India, where the suitors are suggested
by matrimonial bureaus, close family, friends, the priests, or the elders from the community, the bride and the groom are complete strangers when the marriage is initiated.
However, in order to make a pivotal decision which is life-long, especially in the arranged marriages, the couple needs to spend time interacting with each other, getting to know their potential partner, and checking their compatibility. This time spent with each other lays down the foundation of the relationship is called the courtship period.
The courtship period is essential for every couple because it lets them understand the culture and values of each others' families, know about each others' personality and most of all, to adjust to life together. If you're entering into a courtship, there are some key things to look for and consider when deciding if the person you're courting is your perfect match:
Know the Person and the New Family:
This is the best time to get to know your partner, leave impressions on each other, and interact in life situations by spending quality time together. Take each other out for dinner, go shopping for household items, and learn about each other's likes and dislikes. Discuss world issues and petty thoughts to know each others' perspectives. Also, you should try to know each others' families. Getting to know the new family is especially important for a young woman, who will leave her family to join theirs.
Search for Compatibility:
This is the perfect time to check your compatibility with each other. Whether your family, a mutual friend or a matrimonial site brought you together, take keen interest in each others' life and goals for the future. Find out if your goals match up. If your envisioned lifestyle doesn't match your partner's, you may need to have a serious discussion about whether or not you're the best match. But don't be too critical. Remember nobody is perfect and you have to accept as they are.
Set a Foundation of Love:
This pre-wedding period lays down the foundation of love you will build your life on. Tell each other about your feelings. Shed your inhibitions and show care and affection toward each other. Make memorable moments together without worrying about your reputation.
Make Crucial Decisions:
Crucial decisions of family planning, financial security and living together should be made during this period. Discuss each other's perspectives and decide what you want out of life. You can agree or disagree with each other, learn respecting each other's decision. The important thing is you learn to communicate even when it's difficult, and you can make sure you have the same life goals in mind. This is the best time to learn to communicate disagreements so it will be easier to get over an argument in your marriage.
Create a Sense of Commitment:
Marriage is not just a bed of roses; it has its own ups and downs. A courtship period prepares you for marriage. It develops a sense of commitment toward each other. You commit to face all the good days and the bad days together. Once you decide you like each other, start treating each other as your future spouses. A sense of commitment and responsibility is established between the future husband and wife.
Adapting to each other's lifestyles:
During this course of time, know each others lifestyles, schedules and routines. Make an effort to adapt to each other's life by coordinating your weekly schedules to spend as much time together as possible. Meet each other's friends and bond with them. Get an insight into how the other person leads his or her life.
The courtship period is the best time to know each other. Do not confuse it with inquiring each other's pasts. Always remember that you are in the present and committed to the future together. What has gone is past, don't let it break up your relationship. To have some fun, discuss your honeymoon, express love in creative ways, and make plans for your home together
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